Audited By Love
by iloveromance
Summary: When Annie Spadaro reluctantly gives her auditor Jimmy Callahan a part in "Cats", she regrets it immediately & must find a way to tell him the truth about his lack of talent. But when he confesses his love for her, can she admit the truth to herself about her growing attraction to him? An AU continuation of "Caroline and the Cat Dancer" in which David Hyde Pierce plays Jimmy
1. Chapter 1

As Old Deuteronomy sang his closing speech to the other Cats, Annie Spadero couldn't help but cringe. She'd tried hard not to look out at the audience, but her eyes continuously went to the rows and rows of empty chairs that should have been filled with fans of the long running musical. After all, who didn't love seeing _Cats _at the _Winter Garden Theatre_ on Broadway in New York City?

Apparently hundreds of people.

But sadly when the show opened one act before, every seat was filled. That is, until Jimmy Callahan came on stage. Now she shuddered to think of how many (or in this case how few) bodies would be left by the time the final bows were taken. She had no doubt that there were probably more people in the cast than were actually sitting in the audience!

She sighed, thinking of the IRS agent that had made her life a living hell.

Why couldn't she have found a different IRS office? One that employed senile old ladies instead of young, arrogant men who complained about everything and still managed to find something wrong with her taxes? So she didn't keep records of her finances. Who did? It wasn't like it was the crime of the century!

But to Jimmy Callahan it was.

The applause, which usually thundered throughout the building was drowned out by boos and hisses. Clearly the audience hated it. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that hurling objects at the cast members was a sign of disapproval.

But then again, Jimmy wasn't like other cast members. He was... strangely cute in a way, with his blonde hair and blue eyes...

_Damn..._

Well, she just thanked God he was virtually unrecognizable with his makeup, but once her boss caught wind of this... horrible cast member who somehow managed to find his way into the show, she was sure that her career was over and she was even more sure that she'd never find another role anywhere in New York, on or off Broadway.

Damn that Del... And Charlie was even worse! All she wanted was for them to pretend to give Jimmy an audition because he promised her that she'd never have to pay taxes again.

She could just imagine it... never having to pay taxes on anything for the rest of her life. She could move into a huge condo (after she found a husband-and it wouldn't matter if he was richer than she was. Well, not much anyway.), and take trips to Paris, London and practically anywhere else. The thought made her heart race with excitement.

But her plan backfired in a big way. After the audition (and boy it was the _worst_ display of acting and singing that Annie had ever seen!), instead of saying "Thank you very much, we'll call you!" Charlie (the idiot that he was) freaked out and told Jimmy that he got the part! Even Del was horrified! Only an idiot like Charlie would find it remotely enjoyable.

And so against her wishes, she dragged Jimmy to the _Wintergarden Theatre_ where he insisted that he didn't even need to rehearse the lines, for he knew every line and song by heart.

Amazingly he was right.

But she shouldn't have been surprised. The man was completely deranged, freaking out about being passed over for an office with a window. And anyone who bothered seeing _Cats_ thirteen times was definitely in need of psychiatric help! Even she hadn't seen it that many times and she was in it!

She feigned a smile and bowed, praying that no one noticed her. But she didn't really have to worry, because there were so few people that she had to strain to hear the applause. As the curtain closed she breathed a sigh of relief and began pondering where she could buy a _New York Times_ at this hour and begin scouring the employment section. But once the review came out in tomorrow's paper, she'd be lucky to find a job as a waitress in the sleaziest restaurant around.

She was just about to head to her dressing room when she spotted a very familiar face adorned in black and white makeup and wearing an orange and black cat costume.

_Oh no..._

"Annie! There you are!" he cried, rushing toward her.

"Jimmy..." She replied through clinched teeth, as he put his hands on her shoulder.

"Wasn't that _magnificent_? The excitement, the freedom, the music... the _dancing_! Why... I've never felt such a rush of... satisfaction in my entire life! Do you have _any_ idea how _long_ I've been dreaming of being in such a spectacular Broadway show? And not just any show... _Cats! _The TS Elliot masterpiece composed by the brilliant Andrew Lloyd Webber!"

"I can imagine." She said with as little enthusiasm as possible.

"You can't _possibly_ imagine how happy you've made me, Annie! And I intend to fulfill my promise!"

She swallowed hard, trying desperately to remember whether or not she'd agreed to sleep with him. She certainly hoped not.

"Um... what promise was that, Jimmy?"

He gently squeezed her shoulders and smiled. "You'll _never pay taxes again_! So when's our next performance? I can guarantee it will be even better than this one, although I don't see how that's possible! And I owe it all to you!"

"Uh yeah... Jimmy... about that..."

"Yes, Annie?"

She swallowed hard.

_Oh God..._

"Jimmy, I-."

Before she could finish he turned around and gasped. "Oh look! Some fans are waiting for me! I'd better get out there and start signing autographs! I don't want to disappoint them!"

"Jimmy-."

He returned his attention to her and smiled. "I'll never forget this, Annie. And there's something I need to tell you. Something... I've been wanting to tell you for a while now."

"Uh oh... Don't tell me I owe more back taxes... Jimmy, you promised!"

"This has nothing to do with that." He said, somewhat reassuringly.

"All right, then what is it?"

He stared into her eyes, brushing a lock of hair from her forehead.

"Annie Spadero, I think I'm falling in love with you."

She barely had time to react when his lips were on hers for the most incredible kiss she'd ever experienced.

This was definitely not part of the plan.


	2. Chapter 2

Even as she stood there gazing into space, she could feel Jimmy's lips on hers.

"Annie, what in the hell was that?"

She turned to find herself face to face with Helen (also known as _Jemima_) who in addition to her costume was wearing an appalled expression.

In situations such as these, Annie knew it was best to play it cool; act completely innocent. Hey, if it worked with men, it would surely work on a grown woman in a cat costume!

"I-I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Right, Annie. Right." Helen said sarcastically.

"Really... I don't have a clue-."

"I'm talking about _him_!" Helen shouted.

Annie's eyes followed Helen's pointing finger until her gaze landed on the object of her cast mate's annoyance.

And what an object it was.

Still wearing his cat costume and makeup, Jimmy stood backstage chatting happily with a small girl and her mother. The girl looked ecstatic and Annie was amazed that she recognized the child's face so easily.

It was the same little girl who sat in the audience, singing along to the familiar songs. And now that Annie thought about it, that happy face was one of the few in the absurdly sparse crowd.

When she looked back at Jimmy, Annie couldn't help but smile. He really did have a fan. She watched them for a long moment, ignoring everyone else around her.

"Annie, are you alive?"

Startled by the gentle force of Helen shaking her, Annie blinked in surprise.

"Huh? What?"

"I said _Are you alive_? Because you sure don't look it!"

"Wh-what are you talking about? O-Of course I'm alive! I'm breathing ain't I?"

"You tell me, Annie. Because the way you're staring at that guy over there suggests otherwise. You look like you're in a coma!"

Annie's face flushed and she was suddenly glad that she'd kept her makeup on.

"I-I have no idea what you're talking about." She stammered.

"Right, Annie. Right. Well, since you're so clueless, let me fill you in. I'm talking about him."

Once again, Annie found herself looking at Jimmy. And when his gaze met hers, he smiled and blew her a kiss. Instantly she looked away, ignoring the way it made her feel. The nerve of him!

"Wh-what about him?"

"What's he doing here?"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"God, Annie, do you realize how many times you've said that in the last five minutes? What's going on?"

Annie sighed deeply. "All right, if you must know, Jimmy is my IRS Agent. He's completely deranged!"

That part was true enough.

"Um, yeah. I can see that, but what's he doing here? I know that it's pretty much impossible to know everyone in the cast but I think I would know _Skimbleshanks_! He is a major character! So why have I never seen him before? And oddly enough no one else seems to recognize him but you! I don't even know this Jimmy person's last name!"

"Callahan" Annie finished without thinking.

"I see..."

Immediately Annie began to panic. "Y-you do?"

"Annie, I've seen you do some sneaky things before but this is by far the lowest! Giving one of your one night stands a part in a musical that he has no business being a part of?"

Annie's eyes widened in mock horror. "You think _I _did this?"

"Well, you're the only one who seems to know who this Jimmy _Callahan_ is!"

Annie threw up her hands in defeat. "Okay, fine! You got me! It was my fault!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm the one who put him in the show."


	3. Chapter 3

"_You_ did this?" Helen asked her eyes as wide as saucers. "But Annie you're not qualified to hire anyone! You're just a cast member!"

"HEY! I am not JUST a cast member! I happen to be _Victoria_, the graceful dancing cat! I have a dancer's body! Just ask-."

She stopped short, horrified at what she was about to reveal. Her horror was accompanied by her increasing heartbeat as she remembered Jimmy's words;

"_I should have known you were a dancer. You have a dancer's body. Lithe and wiry, leaking of sexuality." _

And casually she changed the subject... sort of.

"I-I didn't mean that I hired him! It was supposed to be a joke. He-he's my IRS agent."

"So?"

"So... so... I... uh... when he called me to his office for an audit on my taxes, he couldn't believe it when he found out that I'm in _Cats_. And he didn't just get _excited_, Helen. The man completely _freaked_! He's seen our show _thirteen times_! I mean who _does _that?"

"A lot of people, Annie! It's a _classic!_ But just because someone's a fan doesn't mean you have to give him a part! An IRS agent? I think _you're_ the one who's deranged!"

"Come on, it's not that bad-."

"Not that bad?" He's _horrible_!"

Annie swallowed hard and stole a glance backstage, ignoring the feeling of disappointment that came over her when she realized he was gone. It was a feeling that she quickly tried to will away, with little success.

Quickly, she tried to think of something to say; anything that would make Helen leave. The woman was ten seconds from causing a nervous breakdown. And it wouldn't be the first time.

"J-Jimmy's not horrible, Helen. He's just... a little inexperienced!"

"A _little_? How can an IRS agent possibly have any experience at all in theatre, dance or drama? And how did he learn his lines so quickly, not to mention the dance moves? But come to think of it, his performance pretty much speaks for itself! And I _wish_ it would have had _laryngitis_!" Helen screamed, causing several pair of eyes to look in her direction.

"Fine, he's horrible. But he's an IRS agent, Helen! Not a Broadway star!"

"His name's not even in the Playbill, Annie! Don't you think that's a little suspicious?"

Annie feigned innocence. "No... Well, I mean you know how long those things take to come back from the printer! Why, just last week there was a picture of Justin Morris as _Rumpleteaser_!"

"So?"

Now Annie was really annoyed. The woman seemed obsessed with the word _so_. But she supposed it was better than Helen's usual obsession, which was... well... _Helen_.

"_So_, Helen?_ So_? In case you've forgotten, Justin Morris was fired months ago! Remember that huge scandal?"

"No..."

"Th-the huge scandal! It was all over the New York Times! God, doesn't anybody read the paper anymore? I should tell my friend Caroline. She is the creator of Caroline in the City. You know, the cute cartoon, next to _Peanuts_?"

"I hate cartoons!" Helen spat.

"Fine, you hate cartoons. But I swear I'm telling the truth!" She lied. "Don't you remember? He was fired for _doing it_ backstage with Meredith... otherwise known as _Jennyanydots_! Can you imagine anyone doing something like that?"

Helen crossed her arms and glared at Annie with narrowed eyes.

"Besides me." Annie relented. "And anyway, the audience hardly noticed his performance!"

"You must be completely blind because you must not have noticed the way the theatre cleared out so quickly!"

"I-."

"Look Annie, you'd better find a way to get rid of this Jimmy Callahan and fast! If the boss sees him, we're all out of a job. Do you have any idea how long I've worked to get this gig? It was my dream to be on Broadway and now I'm here! And Annie Spadero, you may think you're the queen of the _Cats_, but believe me, if you screw this up, _you will pay_! So either you get rid of that jackass or _I will_!"

Without another word, Helen stormed off leaving Annie alone with her unsettling thoughts. But she wasn't alone for long.


End file.
